Beyond the Barricade

Name: Enjolras (any attempt to say his given name will result in a "---")
Canon: Les Miserables (book), from 1831 (carryover from CFUD)

Age: 25 (born in 1806)
Height: 5'10"
Basic Physical Description: ...I'll let Victor tell it.

"He was angelically beautiful. He was Antinoüs, wild. You would have said, seeing the thoughtful reflection of his eye, that he had already, in some preceding existence, been through the revolutionary apocalypse. [. . .] He had a deep eye, slightly red lids, thick underlip, readily disdainful, and a high forehead. Much forehead in the face is like much sky in a horizon. Like certain young men early in this century and late in the last, who became illustrious in early life, he had an exceedingly youthful look, as fresh as a young girl's, though he had moments of pallor. [. . .] Had any grisette of the Place Cambrai or the Rue Saint-Jean-de-Beauvais, seeing this college boy's face, the body of a page, long fair lashes, blue eyes, that hair flying in the wind, rosy cheeks, pure lips, exquisite teeth, felt a desire to taste all this dawn, and tried her beauty on Enjolras, a surprising and terribly look would have suddenly shown her the great gulf, and taught her not to confuse Beaumarchais's dashing cherubino with this fearsome cherubim of Ezekial."


Abilities/Powers & Skills

Physical: Nothing extraordinary in the big picture, but he's definitely a lot stronger and more able than one would assume from looking at him. For example, he's single-handedly forced (or will force, rather) a much larger man to his knees, and I don't think that completely by power of personality. And he very easily runs about and builds barricades and the like without too much effort.

Magical/Supernatural/Etc.: n/a

Special Skills: By this point, he's relatively experienced in anti-government street combat, so he's developed the perception needed for fighting in an uncontrolled environment while at a serious disadvantage and also has a knack for improvised weaponry. He's a very good marksman, and that's with 19th century firearms, even. He also is decent with a sword, due to fancy richboy education.

Arsenal/Inventory: sword, carbine, pistol


Permissions

Maiming/Torturing/Killing: Yes to the latter two, but going easy on the maiming, because he's so pretty
Hugging/Kissing/Sexing: Yes, because he's so pretty


Contact

Player: Tats
Reach me at: plurk @ carotid, gchat @gnoeyk

This is Buffy's fault.

So I basically wrote about how I was obsessed with Les Mis, addicted to the internet and had fictional characters talking to me from inside my head. And then they let me into college. It was really sort of sweet.

( And within a couple years of the writing of this essay, I had gone on to become a disaffected cynic. (Kept the internet addiction, though.) )

The fic rec post in CFO made me think back to the LMFFI and get all nostalgic, so I just took a couple of the quizzes as myself and...

You're Combeferre!
A fount of compassion and common sense, you're Enjolras' right-hand man and occasional conscience. You may or may not wear glasses. Which Barricade Boy Are You?

You're Enjolras/Combeferre!
Your profile: You have the appeal of being both balanced and affectionate. You're quite possibly the ideal relationship, even if you don't get much attention. Example story: Flames Which Les Miz Slash Pairing Are You?

MON DIEU SHOCK AND AWE. I KNOW I'M SURPRISED TOO.

It took me two attempts to get in as Enjolras, my first CFUD character. Value and prize the power of re-apping!

The first app was done in approximately an hour before the application window opened. I had told myself that I was not going to do CFUD because I would drive myself insane, but in the end, temptation triumphed, and I really didn't have all that much sanity to lose, anyways.

...the first app would have been good in a place where the canon was familiar and universally liked, but for this, it really needed some editing that it wouldn't get until preparation for the next opening of camper apps.


( First application )


To summarize: TOO DAMN LONG.

It's not a matter of just word-count, though -- the formatting is just not easy on the eyes. The large paragraphs were intended to emulate Hugo's style, but they honestly cause one's brain to fold in on itself (...like some of Hugo's long rambles, actually).

Also, canon was too thick here -- there was simply canon (and by 'canon' I mean not only the book but French history in general) for the sake of canon. No contribution to the funny. Perhaps some characterization contribution, as Enjolras would probably discuss such things, but still not good material for an app, especially to a multi-fandom shin-dig like this, where unknown canons can be, quite frankly, of no interest whatsoever until you get to know the character(s) better.

The best thing that I did, though, was ask people for concrit. ASK FOR CONCRIT AND BE NICE ABOUT IT BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WILL HELP YOU. Sometimes you even get wibble votes. I got a number of wibble votes the first time because I was able to show that I had plans beyond "I don't think we're in nineteenth century France anymore, Toto". But I'll say it again. CONCRIT WILL HELP YOU.

And here was the result:

( The second app )


It's honestly still a long app, but it appears a lot shorter and less impenetrable because the paragraphs are smaller. I broke things up using a system of "one funny per paragraph". I like that system. As far as actually cutting things out, gratuitous canon references were removed. Anything that struck me as possibly repetitive was cut.

The one thing you can't count on is people's senses of humors. Sense of humor just work differently in different people. Being both a "straight man" and "real world" type character, Enjolras didn't lend himself easily to outright "haha so crzy!" humor. My philosophy is to just make it as well written as possible, with in-character Funny. It might not appeal to everyone, but playing wildly for laughs is a turn-off for me, personally.

As for now, Enjolras is rather subdued at the moment, due to having spent some time alone in the woods when he arrived, and, as a result, having been rather cold, hungry, tired and lost. And when he did find the rest of camp, his brain was broken a little. But don't worry, he's a smart, strong boy, and he'll be better soon. If by "better" we mean "soapboxing at people, being rather rude to individuals whom he judges to be worthless and attempting to incite rebellion."

And that's all we wrote, folks.