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It took me two attempts to get in as Enjolras, my first CFUD character. Value and prize the power of re-apping!
The first app was done in approximately an hour before the application window opened. I had told myself that I was not going to do CFUD because I would drive myself insane, but in the end, temptation triumphed, and I really didn't have all that much sanity to lose, anyways.
...the first app would have been good in a place where the canon was familiar and universally liked, but for this, it really needed some editing that it wouldn't get until preparation for the next opening of camper apps.
( First application )
To summarize: TOO DAMN LONG.
It's not a matter of just word-count, though -- the formatting is just not easy on the eyes. The large paragraphs were intended to emulate Hugo's style, but they honestly cause one's brain to fold in on itself (...like some of Hugo's long rambles, actually).
Also, canon was too thick here -- there was simply canon (and by 'canon' I mean not only the book but French history in general) for the sake of canon. No contribution to the funny. Perhaps some characterization contribution, as Enjolras would probably discuss such things, but still not good material for an app, especially to a multi-fandom shin-dig like this, where unknown canons can be, quite frankly, of no interest whatsoever until you get to know the character(s) better.
The best thing that I did, though, was ask people for concrit. ASK FOR CONCRIT AND BE NICE ABOUT IT BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WILL HELP YOU. Sometimes you even get wibble votes. I got a number of wibble votes the first time because I was able to show that I had plans beyond "I don't think we're in nineteenth century France anymore, Toto". But I'll say it again. CONCRIT WILL HELP YOU.
And here was the result:
( The second app )
It's honestly still a long app, but it appears a lot shorter and less impenetrable because the paragraphs are smaller. I broke things up using a system of "one funny per paragraph". I like that system. As far as actually cutting things out, gratuitous canon references were removed. Anything that struck me as possibly repetitive was cut.
The one thing you can't count on is people's senses of humors. Sense of humor just work differently in different people. Being both a "straight man" and "real world" type character, Enjolras didn't lend himself easily to outright "haha so crzy!" humor. My philosophy is to just make it as well written as possible, with in-character Funny. It might not appeal to everyone, but playing wildly for laughs is a turn-off for me, personally.
As for now, Enjolras is rather subdued at the moment, due to having spent some time alone in the woods when he arrived, and, as a result, having been rather cold, hungry, tired and lost. And when he did find the rest of camp, his brain was broken a little. But don't worry, he's a smart, strong boy, and he'll be better soon. If by "better" we mean "soapboxing at people, being rather rude to individuals whom he judges to be worthless and attempting to incite rebellion."
And that's all we wrote, folks.
The first app was done in approximately an hour before the application window opened. I had told myself that I was not going to do CFUD because I would drive myself insane, but in the end, temptation triumphed, and I really didn't have all that much sanity to lose, anyways.
...the first app would have been good in a place where the canon was familiar and universally liked, but for this, it really needed some editing that it wouldn't get until preparation for the next opening of camper apps.
( First application )
To summarize: TOO DAMN LONG.
It's not a matter of just word-count, though -- the formatting is just not easy on the eyes. The large paragraphs were intended to emulate Hugo's style, but they honestly cause one's brain to fold in on itself (...like some of Hugo's long rambles, actually).
Also, canon was too thick here -- there was simply canon (and by 'canon' I mean not only the book but French history in general) for the sake of canon. No contribution to the funny. Perhaps some characterization contribution, as Enjolras would probably discuss such things, but still not good material for an app, especially to a multi-fandom shin-dig like this, where unknown canons can be, quite frankly, of no interest whatsoever until you get to know the character(s) better.
The best thing that I did, though, was ask people for concrit. ASK FOR CONCRIT AND BE NICE ABOUT IT BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WILL HELP YOU. Sometimes you even get wibble votes. I got a number of wibble votes the first time because I was able to show that I had plans beyond "I don't think we're in nineteenth century France anymore, Toto". But I'll say it again. CONCRIT WILL HELP YOU.
And here was the result:
( The second app )
It's honestly still a long app, but it appears a lot shorter and less impenetrable because the paragraphs are smaller. I broke things up using a system of "one funny per paragraph". I like that system. As far as actually cutting things out, gratuitous canon references were removed. Anything that struck me as possibly repetitive was cut.
The one thing you can't count on is people's senses of humors. Sense of humor just work differently in different people. Being both a "straight man" and "real world" type character, Enjolras didn't lend himself easily to outright "haha so crzy!" humor. My philosophy is to just make it as well written as possible, with in-character Funny. It might not appeal to everyone, but playing wildly for laughs is a turn-off for me, personally.
As for now, Enjolras is rather subdued at the moment, due to having spent some time alone in the woods when he arrived, and, as a result, having been rather cold, hungry, tired and lost. And when he did find the rest of camp, his brain was broken a little. But don't worry, he's a smart, strong boy, and he'll be better soon. If by "better" we mean "soapboxing at people, being rather rude to individuals whom he judges to be worthless and attempting to incite rebellion."
And that's all we wrote, folks.
